September

Since we have started this adventure of missionary life, one of the big issues has always been money. When we started the two year missionary training program in the fall of 2004, we were not allowed to work and yet because we had not yet graduated from the program, we were not "real missionaries" and hence we couldn't really ask people for support. So, the months before we started the training we saved and saved every penny we could and figured if we were very careful, the money would last us the school year til summer break when Brant could try to get a job.

Our savings were gone the first week we started school.

I don't exactly remember what happened... something involving selling our car and some bills we thought that had been paid... anyways, in a matter of days our bank account was empty.

That was our first September as missionaries. It was a lean month. But, seeing as how I'm still writing this tonight, we didn't starve. :)

The second year of our training we were much more confident. We had ended the summer working for a church which had given us a very generous love offering as we headed back to school. But somehow September rolled around and we had exactly $60 in our bank account. We budgeted $10 for gas and $50 for groceries for the whole month... which, even if you're not good at math, adds up to not much. :) I remember going to the store and buying a bunch of bananas and milk (both for then 1 year old Elijah) and cans of beans. We ate everything in our house... you know all those weird cans that just accumulate in the back of your pantry and bags of flour and sugar and frozen peas that are way too old to eat? ...We literally emptied everything in our house and lived the entire month on free day old bread from the mission food pantry. It was a really discouraging time... we felt like we were drowning in this darkness of constantly worrying about money and food.

I will stop here and explain that Brant and I are not bad with money... we are actually pretty careful and conservative and because of the crazy fluxing nature of finances living as a missionary, we go over our budget every month. So, not sure why we ended up with nothing. :)

Anyways, the following year we had taken an extra training course for advanced linguistics and so were still in the training. That September we were broke again, but it was because of the major expenses of the special program we were in and moving to live with the Cherokee people to study their language. I remember right before our move we met with our prayer group on campus and shared our concerns about how much money the program would cost... I think it was about $1500 and we needed half of it up front... roughly $750. I remember the group prayed we would get our $750 and we left the next day for Cherokee land.

By the end of our time in Cherokee land (roughly two months), we had the money... except that the $750 came from churches and people who signed up to become monthly supporters... so we got that $750 every month from then on! And the Lord just provided the rest... Anyways, we came home with $1500 EXTRA in the bank after all our bills had been paid and $750 in promised support and we laughed at how God can answer prayers in ways bigger than we imagine.

So where is all this financial history going? It does have a point. :) The point is, we have come to HATE the month of September and always dread it... not sure why, but our support is always lowest in September.

We made it through this last month okay and now it's October. Didn't they have Black Monday in October? We got an email today... short - just 3 lines - "We are moving our support towards missionaries concentrating on soul winning. Your support is discontinued immediately. God bless."

So apart from the discouragement of being accused of being a missionary who doesn't care about "winning souls" and apart from the discouragement of realizing that this supporter has little concern for discipleship or even simply the concept that we are simply commanded to preach the Gospel, not "save souls"; came the reality that we just lost our biggest supporter. This supporter single-handedly covered about a third of our monthly support... which, even if you're bad at math, is a lot. :)

So there was shock... still shock I think. And tears. And the afternoon was spent going over numbers and trying to figure out how we can cut our budget by a third and still have money to do ministry and eat at the same time. :) And throughout the day going over Scriptures...

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is the Lord. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes but its leaves will be green. And it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit." - Jeremiah 17:7-8

I write all this out this evening not to whine or in some subtle way ask for support from anyone happening to read this. But as Moses reminded the Israelites in Deuteronomy 8 to "remember all the way the Lord has led you" I look back on these years (five now!) of seeing how God has provided. Sometimes we have had very little and sometimes we have had much, but God has always taken care of us. I need to remind myself tonight to remember that this did not take the Lord by surprise and that He can provide for us with or without some rich businessman in America.

Sometimes I hate this type of lifestyle... not having a constant income and never knowing how much money we will have any given month. It's so much easier to have a paycheck that comes every two weeks and know you get exactly what you worked for. But I am thankful for the chance to see God's provision and His grace in our lives... and we now have a great opportunity to see how God is going to provide! :)

The barang sale

This morning was the annual "Senior Barang Sale" up at the MK school. "Barang" is the Indonesian word for "stuff" ...or "junk." :) Once a year missionaries in the community donate their barang to the senior class or they can rent tables at the sale and everyone shows up... because even here, on the other side of the world, we Americans always feel the need to get more barang. :) The senior class is raising money for their trip to Bali in the spring. (Being an MK does have its advantages.)

This year's senior class is headed up by a very creative, crafty type lady who coaxed the seniors into making baked goods and homemade candles (that were beautiful - I dropped hints to Brant for Christmas!) and plant starts... blackberry bushes and aloe vera and herbs. They also sold pancakes and "Frappacinos" (in real Starbucks glasses, with real Starbucks straws that you had to give back and they rewashed them) :) Anyways, it was great fun and a great place to get new pirated movies and the little boys quickly discovered "barang sale" meant "new toys."

Caleb found a brand new play dough set... real play dough. He is at the stage where he LOVES play dough and the several cans we brought from the States have literally disappeared... crumbled, dried out... not sure where it all went, but he's been without play dough for several weeks now and we've been fighting the urge to break out the new set we have for his birthday that's in our stash of "presents from the States." Anyways, I was quite proud of him that out of piles and piles of junk he managed to find a brand new set of play dough. It was one of those small "mini" sets with just 3 little cans of dough, but at 20 cents, it was a steal - how could I refuse?

So Elijah decided he needed a new toy... that proved a bit more challenging. He wanted a cheap plastic dump truck... an action figure missing its legs and a small bag of plastic "toys" that included a Donald Duck figure and some mushed army men. He finally settled on a small jar of wooden counting blocks, which has proved (in the hour we've been home) to be great fun as he's making shapes and towers and roads... Brant was happy with it as it's "educational" :)

Brant's treasures included a ammo box (we don't have any ammo!) a small tabletop grill (I'm excited about that one) and a "camelback" water drinking backpack thing.

All in all it was a really fun morning and all of the boys have spent the past hour with their "treasures" and Caleb has already mixed all his play dough together to make brown. It's been a nice break from the mental stress of the week... my only concern at the moment is where to plant my new berry bushes.

Opportunities

We are teaching at the international school this semester while we wait for the Lord to open some door or give us some direction in where we should serve permanently. Enjoying teaching at the school and can see how the Lord is using it, but don't plan on doing it long term. If we had wanted to teach we would have stayed in the States and lived in a house with carpet. :)

So last week we got opportunity #1... the current guest house/supply buyers came over and offered us half their job... taking care of the guest house. (Both are full time jobs and the poor family is a tad swamped.) I would love to run the guest house and envision creating a nice B&B retreat for all the tribal missionaries to come and have a break. But it would pretty well seal that we are never going into a tribe and I really don't know that I want to live in town and destroy our livers taking anti-malarial meds the rest of our lives.

Last night we got opportunity #2... an email from a team with two families asking us to join their team. Before you jump up and down and say "this is it!!!" let me explain... Part of us is excited (yeah! a chance to serve in a tribe!) but the other part is dreading it... there would be lots of issues to work through - both families are very, very conservative (yes - more conservative than us!) as in no birth control, the ladies always wear long dresses, etc. They are really friendly to us and have never made any comments, but it is very obvious that I am the only one who wears shorts and tank tops (only in our house - always dress up to go out!) and lets my boys go without shirts. There are also some major personality differences... though they are very conservative, both families are very "grace-oriented" in their parenting... which translates into parent-speak that the kids run a tad wild.

Also, this tribe is a very, very difficult area... there were previously 3 families in this tribe who all left before learning the language to the point where they could present the Gospel. One of them the husband DIED, the other family left when their 5 year old developed a brain tumor and the third family quit... can you blame them? The two new families have been house-building the past 6 months and we have seen the set-backs and it's so obviously spiritual warfare - almost scary how strongly the demonic/Satanic opposition is in getting these people the Gospel. Also, this tribe is in the lowlands which means malaria is still an issue (I had envisioned moving into a nice cool mountainous area where there was no malaria!)

So I know you're thinking why would we ever even consider this tribe? We are here to serve... however the Lord wants to use us. There will be obstacles in any tribal area - but we know that and is there a people group where the cost is too high? Do these people not need to hear the Gospel any less than people in the mountains? And in working with teammates are there really people we cannot get along with when we are walking in the Spirit and focused on the same goal? We have long said we are here to serve how and where the Lord wants to use us. It drives us crazy when new missionaries come who are so set that they are going to do their dream ministry and refuse to open their eyes to all the needs around them. But do we knowingly walk into a such a difficult situation?

There are some pluses... both families each have a kid our boys ages plus extras so there will be lots of playmates and our kids have already been playing with them as they live on the same property as us. That's a huge praise (we've seen MKs who have lived in the tribe without other white kids and it's not a pretty sight) Also, we've seen both these families deal with some big set-backs in their whole house-building process and handle everything with such grace and really trusting the Lord... they have been a huge encouragement to us in that way. And, though our personalities are so different and sometimes they drive us crazy... that's actually good that we've got such unique gifts and abilities so that we can make a better "team"

Anyways, we are not planning on making a decision tomorrow... nor am I asking for your opinion (though you are more than welcome to give it!) Really, I am just asking that you would pray for us that we would really seek the Lord on this and know what HE wants us to do. We don't want to give into fears and concerns but we also don't want to act rashly because here's a tribal ministry staring us in the face! We want to do what the Lord wants us to do.

PS Ezra is doing a ton better.... whatever silver medicine goup the nurse gave us has worked wonders and most of his burns now look like little smooth pink marks. He does have one big spot on the very top of his head that is still open and thus potential for infection and scaring, and his scalp is flaking like CRAZY but other than that, we are praising the Lord he is almost as good as new. Only lasting effect is that he is now terrified of the bath and screams continually when we bathe him.

Ezra's photos

Friday morning we went and got Ezra's 6 month pictures taken. He's 8 months old, for those of you keeping track. :) (But mommy getting sick throws everything off a bit!) I had gotten Elijah's and Caleb's pictures taken when they were about 7 months old and wanted to have one of Ezra the same age. It was a bit of a riot at the "photo studio" as the photographer used a purple background with a teal chair... to go with Ezra's red hair and green plaid shirt. It took a lot of convincing to get them to use the plain white background... "Why? He's already white" is what they said. After some more convincing, they gave us the disk of photos and we can home and "fixed" them a bit (only cropping - no face touch-ups!) :) so the finished product is what you see above... quite impressive for a 3rd world country!

So, Friday night I was giving Ezra a bath in our kitchen sink. We do not have hot water out of the tap, so I had boiled water on the stove like I normally do. It was late and I was exhausted and I accidentally poured straight hot water on his head (usually mix a small amount with cold water to wash him with) The water was no longer boiling, but it was very, very hot and poor baby got very burned. It was a horrible couple hours of trying to get him cooled off and calmed down and the nurse came right away and ran all over town trying to get the right things to bandage him up and seal his burns so they wouldn't get infected. I felt SO GUILTY. We are thankful that he seems to be healing fine and not too bothered by everything. Yesterday morning I went to get him out of bed and he had all his bandages off his head and was sucking on them and looked up at me and smiled as if to say "Look at all these cool toys in my bed, Mom" Anyways, his burns look horrible but his eyes and nose and mouth were unaffected (he has burns all around his cheeks and jawbone and on his scalp.) The nurse said he should heal fine with no permanent scaring. I feel like a HORRIBLE mom. It did help a bit that the nurse said she once did the same thing to her 2 year old and he had worse burns than Ezra. I talked to my mom later and she said she did the same thing to my brother when he was a baby... so I don't feel as guilty. :( Here's a pic of Ezra from Saturday night... he's a trooper and still smiling!