September

Since we have started this adventure of missionary life, one of the big issues has always been money. When we started the two year missionary training program in the fall of 2004, we were not allowed to work and yet because we had not yet graduated from the program, we were not "real missionaries" and hence we couldn't really ask people for support. So, the months before we started the training we saved and saved every penny we could and figured if we were very careful, the money would last us the school year til summer break when Brant could try to get a job.

Our savings were gone the first week we started school.

I don't exactly remember what happened... something involving selling our car and some bills we thought that had been paid... anyways, in a matter of days our bank account was empty.

That was our first September as missionaries. It was a lean month. But, seeing as how I'm still writing this tonight, we didn't starve. :)

The second year of our training we were much more confident. We had ended the summer working for a church which had given us a very generous love offering as we headed back to school. But somehow September rolled around and we had exactly $60 in our bank account. We budgeted $10 for gas and $50 for groceries for the whole month... which, even if you're not good at math, adds up to not much. :) I remember going to the store and buying a bunch of bananas and milk (both for then 1 year old Elijah) and cans of beans. We ate everything in our house... you know all those weird cans that just accumulate in the back of your pantry and bags of flour and sugar and frozen peas that are way too old to eat? ...We literally emptied everything in our house and lived the entire month on free day old bread from the mission food pantry. It was a really discouraging time... we felt like we were drowning in this darkness of constantly worrying about money and food.

I will stop here and explain that Brant and I are not bad with money... we are actually pretty careful and conservative and because of the crazy fluxing nature of finances living as a missionary, we go over our budget every month. So, not sure why we ended up with nothing. :)

Anyways, the following year we had taken an extra training course for advanced linguistics and so were still in the training. That September we were broke again, but it was because of the major expenses of the special program we were in and moving to live with the Cherokee people to study their language. I remember right before our move we met with our prayer group on campus and shared our concerns about how much money the program would cost... I think it was about $1500 and we needed half of it up front... roughly $750. I remember the group prayed we would get our $750 and we left the next day for Cherokee land.

By the end of our time in Cherokee land (roughly two months), we had the money... except that the $750 came from churches and people who signed up to become monthly supporters... so we got that $750 every month from then on! And the Lord just provided the rest... Anyways, we came home with $1500 EXTRA in the bank after all our bills had been paid and $750 in promised support and we laughed at how God can answer prayers in ways bigger than we imagine.

So where is all this financial history going? It does have a point. :) The point is, we have come to HATE the month of September and always dread it... not sure why, but our support is always lowest in September.

We made it through this last month okay and now it's October. Didn't they have Black Monday in October? We got an email today... short - just 3 lines - "We are moving our support towards missionaries concentrating on soul winning. Your support is discontinued immediately. God bless."

So apart from the discouragement of being accused of being a missionary who doesn't care about "winning souls" and apart from the discouragement of realizing that this supporter has little concern for discipleship or even simply the concept that we are simply commanded to preach the Gospel, not "save souls"; came the reality that we just lost our biggest supporter. This supporter single-handedly covered about a third of our monthly support... which, even if you're bad at math, is a lot. :)

So there was shock... still shock I think. And tears. And the afternoon was spent going over numbers and trying to figure out how we can cut our budget by a third and still have money to do ministry and eat at the same time. :) And throughout the day going over Scriptures...

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is the Lord. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes but its leaves will be green. And it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit." - Jeremiah 17:7-8

I write all this out this evening not to whine or in some subtle way ask for support from anyone happening to read this. But as Moses reminded the Israelites in Deuteronomy 8 to "remember all the way the Lord has led you" I look back on these years (five now!) of seeing how God has provided. Sometimes we have had very little and sometimes we have had much, but God has always taken care of us. I need to remind myself tonight to remember that this did not take the Lord by surprise and that He can provide for us with or without some rich businessman in America.

Sometimes I hate this type of lifestyle... not having a constant income and never knowing how much money we will have any given month. It's so much easier to have a paycheck that comes every two weeks and know you get exactly what you worked for. But I am thankful for the chance to see God's provision and His grace in our lives... and we now have a great opportunity to see how God is going to provide! :)