The illusion of permanence

On a roll here - how many posts in one week? I'd say it's because I'm feeling better and have had all these thoughts bottled up in my head while I was laying around the last few weeks, but today I am feeling horrible. I have had a great week - the first in a long time where I have felt "normal" and even bordering on "good." But today I woke up and have not been able to use my legs again... really weak and wobbly like when I was really sick. Major bummer. Brant came home early from class to help with the boys after I almost dropped Ezra trying to get him down for a nap. We think I over-did it yesterday - first day in over a month where I did laundry and it's a major chore and I was exhausted. So if you're reading this before December, please be praying I'll be feeling better and this will just be a fluke and not the start of another relapse of the horrid chicken disease. :)

Other thing, Brant brought me Red Vine's yesterday! The student store at the high school sells American candy as a fundraiser for the seniors' trip to Bali (beat that, American students!) and they had Red Vines... it was the 12th anniversary of when we started dating... :)

The real reason I wanted to write was regarding something my neighbor said last week that I have been thinking about off and on. Her husband is in the tribe working on building their tribal house and she has been home for 2 weeks by herself with their 4 kids, including their newborn who has been sick. As she was discussing how hard it had been to make decisions about their baby without her husband, she said, "I just have to remember that this has not caught the Lord by surprise and that there is so much more to this than what we can see" She went on to talk about how Satan can use circumstances to discourage us (and in her case, hinder their moving into the tribe) and there are so many things (like the Lord's plans) that we cannot see.

The whole conversation got me thinking about the verses in 2 Corinthians 4 and 5 about how the things we can see are temporal but the things we cannot see are eternal. Now, I have always loved those verses, especially as a missionary without a nice home with carpet. :) I constantly remind myself those nice things in life are so temporal and that it's thing we can't see that are more important. But over the past few weeks (and after my conversation with my friend) I have realized that there are so many more things that we can "see" that are temporal... like our circumstances. I see disobedient kids or frustration in our ministry plans or discouragement over sickness... these circumstances in my life are what I see... and they are temporary. What I cannot see is how God is working these circumstances out for His purpose and for His glorification in my life - that is eternal.

This past week I was reading an essay from James Dobson and a quote caught my attention as he was talking about the brevity of life and how we respond to difficult circumstances... "It is the illusion of permanence that distorts our perception and shapes our selfish behavior" ...whether that illusion applies to my physical surroundings (lack of a decent washing machine, tons of mosquitos) or to my situations in life (kids, ministry, sickness) - so often I respond forgetting that it is all temporary and not only will quickly change (won't be sick forever!) but is also part of God's larger plan that I can't see. Would I really respond to disappointments and pain with frustration, anger, tears! if I remembered that what I can see is temporary?

Anyways, just writing out stuff I'm thinking about... which is the purpose of a blog, right? :)